Focused Purpose

The Real "What For"

"Daddy, why do you want to be rich?"

My six-year-old daughter asked me this seven years ago while I was hunched over invoices at our kitchen table. I'd been working UPS shifts at 4 a.m., then running to construction sites, trying to build something that looked like a business. When I asked why she thought I wanted to be rich, she said, "Because you're always working."

That broke me. Not because she was wrong, but because she was right—and completely wrong at the same time.

I wasn't chasing money. I was chasing survival. Health insurance. Keeping the lights on. But to her, it just looked like Dad choosing work over everything else. To her, I was the businessman in that parable we all know—the one who tells the fisherman to catch more fish, build a fleet, go public, get rich, then retire so he can finally fish whenever he wants.

"But that's what I'm doing now," the wise fisherman says, pointing to his rod.

Here's what that parable gets wrong: it assumes the fisherman doesn't have four kids who need college funds, health insurance, and schools that don't suck. It assumes "enough" is actually enough.

The Problem with Simple Wisdom

Last week, driving between job sites—construction project manager by day, newsletter writer before dawn, real estate agent on weekends—I had three missed calls from subcontractors and two texts about material delays. Chris Williamson was on my podcast app talking about asking "What for?" before we pile more onto our lives.

Simple advice. Except my life isn't simple.

My wife and I moved to a much more expensive town last year because the schools here are what our kids deserve. It stretched us thinner than I'd like to admit. I promised her years ago that she could stay home with our kids during these crucial years. She's having to work some now just to keep us afloat, and that eats at me.

I could simplify. Sell the house, move somewhere cheaper, live like that wise fisherman. But when I picture my kids stuck in a mediocre school because Dad chose "presence" over provision, it doesn't feel wise—it feels selfish.

The fisherman's wisdom is a luxury I can't afford yet. But I also can't let the pursuit of that luxury cost me the very relationships I'm working to protect.

So I've developed what I call the real "What For" check—not the tidy blog version, but three questions that actually matter:

Question 1: Is this moving me toward actual freedom, or just keeping me busy?

Real estate has an endpoint where I control my schedule. Another construction project doesn't.

My real estate license isn't just another hustle—it's my escape plan. The goal is simple: replace my construction income within a year, then build a team that can eventually run without me micromanaging every deal.

Is it risky? Absolutely. Will it require more grinding in the short term? Unfortunately, yes. But the alternative—staying comfortable in a job that will never give me the flexibility to be the dad I want to be—feels like the bigger risk.

The fisherman in the parable already has his boat and his spot on the beach. I'm still building mine.

Question 2: What's the real cost to my family, and is it worth the real benefit?

Missing dinner to work late is one thing. Missing dinner to build something that lets me coach their games next year is another.

My 8-year-old asked me recently, "Why are you always working?" Fair question. Easy answer: Because I want you to have opportunities I didn't have.

But that's not the whole truth. The whole truth is messier. Sometimes I'm working toward their future. Sometimes I'm working because I'm addicted to being busy. The difference matters—to them and to me.

Here's my beach: my wife doesn't have to work unless she wants to. We can take one or two big family vacations a year. We can save for our kids' college and for our own retirement. We don't need the extravagant house or the brand-new cars. Just the freedom to choose presence without checking a boss's calendar first.

Question 3: Am I running toward something specific, or just running?

The goal isn't to work less someday—it's to work differently. To choose my fishing spot instead of being assigned one.

Some weeks, when my kids are laughing in the next room and I'm hunched over market analysis, I wonder if I'm missing the fish I already have while building a bigger net.

But most weeks, the answer is clear. This has an endpoint. This has a purpose. This gets me to a place where I can choose to be present instead of hoping for permission.

What I'd Tell Her Now

Seven years later, my daughter's question still haunts me because she forced me to confront an uncomfortable truth: you can be working for all the right reasons and still look like you're working for all the wrong ones.

If she asked me that question today, here's what I'd tell her:

"I'm not trying to be rich, sweetheart. I'm trying to be free. There's a difference. Rich means having more money than you need. Free means having enough money that money doesn't make your choices for you."

The fisherman parable isn't wrong—it's just incomplete. Some of us need to build the boat before we can enjoy the beach. The key is knowing when you're building and when you're just spinning your wheels.

And never forgetting that the point of the boat is the beach.

You can be present now and build for better presence later. But only if you're brutally honest about which one you're doing. And only if the voice asking "What for?" belongs to someone whose future actually depends on your answer.

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These aren’t lofty goals or guilt trips. They’re simple, achievable habits designed to make you more consistent, more grounded, and more present.

This month’s theme: Self Leadership

Taking ownership of your own growth and modeling it for your family.

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This month, we’ll help you create a personal growth system you can return to again and again.

✅ Week 4 – Integration: Lead By Example

Model the Reset
Action: Share a recent mistake or misstep with your kids or spouse—and how you rebounded.

Prompt: What message does that send about growth?

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